Regrets on a Bench
by Uncle Charlie
Summary: Three Innocents, all thinking about their time in a Chrome and Gunmetal Madhouse.


_We get a taste of that splendor and then we have to go back._

Sarah Jane Smith

Doctor Who – School Reunion

Marian Raven turned her face to the sun and shut her eyes. For a moment she felt as if she was free floating, then just the barest hint of a smell and she was immediately transported back to a cell. Frightened, angry, and feeling alone, she lashed out at the nearest person to her and ended up in his arms. It was exciting and thrilling and wonderful. Vainly, she tried to hold onto that moment, but like a butterfly, it flitted away.

Sighing, she opened her eyes and stared out at the playground. She watched the children play and smiled tightly as they raced up to their mother, hugging her as she knelt down to them. She laughed at something said and then they raced off. Marian wondered if their mother loved them - of course she did. What mother didn't love her children? Well, excluding hers, of course.

Marian didn't begrudge her mother's leaving... too much. There were days when it was all she could do to keep from locking herself in her room. It was a sad fact that not every woman was maternal. It has certainly been proven to her that she wasn't.

That thought had barely had time to coalesce in her mind when she spotted him – a face from her past. Instantly she turned away, tipping her head down. Twice her life had been touched by this man and the organization he worked for.

At first he'd been so indifferent to her that she wasn't sure if he was even human, much less like her. Later, she found herself in bed with him and the experience opened her eyes to many things.

She was angry at his skill in controlling his feelings and keeping her hanging. She was frustrated at his ability to take what was offered and not expect more. She was impeded by her inability to make him open up to her. Eventually it was too much and she pointed to the door. After all, she didn't need him or any other man to make her a person. He didn't cry, plead, or even protest. He simply slipped out of her life as if he was never there at all. Perhaps that was the greatest blow to her ego of all. He just left.

She watched him from the corner of her eye as Illya sat down at the bench and glanced around. Then he leaned back and took a deep breath. A moment later and the other one was there. Illya was never very far from him and Marian resented their friendship. As long as she had money, she had plenty of hangers on, but when the money ran out, so did they. Friends, however, really true friends, she could count on the fingers of one hand and still have fingers left over.

Marian watched Solo opened up a sack he was carrying and took out white packages, sandwiches obviously. There were other things, including two cups of something. They talked and laughed quietly, just two friends sharing lunch in the park on a spring afternoon.

Then both of them reached inside their jackets at the same time and Illya managed to get his communicator out first. Solo tucked everything away and they were gone - back to a world they shared.

Life just wasn't fair.

Kay Lorrison-Wilson walked over to the swings and sat down on an empty one. Around her, children raced and laughed and played. Where they got the energy was a mystery to her. There was a times when she was a bubble of energy, racing from her job to home and then back to work. Then the children came and they seemed all encompassing. At some point along the way, she looked and Walter was gone.

She wasn't really sure which was more of a surprise - that he left her for his secretary or that three months had passed before she noticed. Well, good riddance. She still had his bank book, the house, and the children.

Kay had always been a bit of a scatter-brained, but she prided herself on being truthful. One glorious day her world had changed when she'd ended up in the reception area of UNCLE HQ. Walter had patted her on the head and blamed pre-wedding jitters. Her mother had claimed that her mother has been one for 'odd spells' and surely Kay took after her. Even her friends nodded politely and hid their smiles behind their hands.

Eventually, she stopped telling about the wonderful trip down her rabbit hole. She stopped nodding to someone on TV or in the newspaper and saying he'd met him or her. Kay learned her lesson… but she never forgot.

She gave herself a push and pumped her legs. There was something freeing about swinging. She felt if she could just get high enough, she'd be able to leap out and fly away

She was slowing to a stop when she saw him walking by, carrying a paper sack in one hand and two cups in the other. For a moment, her throat ached to shout at him, demand he take her back into his world of chrome and gunmetal. For a moment, she wanted to forget about who she was and race to him. For a moment… just a moment… but, no, she would never leave her children.

She watched as Mr. Solo approached a bench and she saw Mr. Kuryakin, looking very much the same as when she first had been interrogated by him, all bluster, blond hair and blue eyes. She was terrified of him, but she learned not everything was as it seemed.

Mr. Solo passed over the cups and sat down. It was obviously that they only had eyes for their lunch and each other. It must be wonderful to have that sort of friendship.

"Hey, lady, how about giving my kid a turn?" The shout woke her up and she hasty stopped and relinquished the swing, still watching the pair as they suddenly stuffed food into sacks and hurried away. They had important work to do.

Life just wasn't' fair.

Elaine May Bender Donaldson walked slowly down the path. She still had a half hour to kill before going to the school. Her son had been in another fight and the principal wanted to meet with her and her husband. Of course, he was too busy, so as usual the burden fell to her. She didn't mind as he had his role in the family and she had hers. She just wished she didn't get so many of the less attractive jobs around the house. Oh, her husband was good about mowing the lawn and keeping the car washed, but just once she'd love to have him offer to do the dishes or start a load of laundry. She doubted he even knew how to start the washing machine.

She paused to powder her nose and caught sit of him in her compact's mirror. With a gasp, she stopped. Mr. Solo, her Mr. Solo, was sitting on a bench not more than a few hundred feet from her. He was looking as polished and debonair as when she first met him, and that had been years ago.

Time had started to crease the corners of her eyes and mouth. She fought the wrinkles, but it was hopeless. Every morning she seemed to wake up a look just a little older.

She remembered one magical and wild weekend when she'd been wined and dined and nearly been killed by her ex-boyfriend. For just one moment, she was the most important person in the world. She'd been coiffured and elegantly gowned. Her nails and makeup was done by experts and she'd been coached by Mr. Solo. He'd taught her, stood by her and protected her. He was the knight in shining armor she'd always dreamed about, but she knew that she didn't have a leg to stand on with him. He was married to his work.

She didn't recognize the blond man beside him, but Elaine assumed he must be a co-worker. They seemed to have an easy going relationship. They must have slipped away because the moment seemed to be a rare treat for them. _It must be hard to relax when the world rested on your shoulders_, she thought, snapping closed her compact.

It had been very hard to go back to her ordinary world after her brief exposure to the good life. One moment she was drinking champagne and eating imported caviar, then she was back home drinking Kool Ade and eating leftover macaroni and cheese. For a short time, she'd been on the arm of a very important and dangerous man – the envy of all the women in the room. Then she went back to being the woman holding the pail while her husband plunged the toilet.

She watched them eating, oblivious to everything, except each other. Once she'd been the center of a man's complete attention, but he was evil and now he was gone. Late that night, she'd shed a tear for Andy. It wasn't just for his death, but for the death of a more innocent time for both of them. She knew you couldn't go back, but it had felt so good and so freeing.

Both men suddenly reacted, patting their jackets and pulling out something. The blond was a moment faster and Napoleon began to stuff the partially eaten sandwiches back into the bags.

In a heartbeat they were gone, both walking as quickly as they could. They were free to race off and save someone or something else.

Life just wasn't fair.

"Just once I'd like to finish lunch without getting interrupted," Illya muttered as they walked. "You would think that Mr. Waverly doesn't have anyone else at his beck and call."

"Well, you know what they say, partner," Napoleon said, grinning. "Life isn't fair."


End file.
